As mindfulness meditation deepens, insight does not unfold in a straight, ascending line. For many practitioners, the path includes periods of fear, grief, disorientation, or loss of meaning—experiences traditionally referred to as the Dark Night of the Soul. The experience of the “Dark Night” can feel like everything is falling apart. But in Vipassanā meditation, these experiences are not signs of failure, but natural stages of insight known as the dukkha ñāṇas. In other words, these experiences are the very arising of wisdom.

After early clarity and even peak experiences, mindfulness begins to penetrate the three universal characteristics: impermanence (anicca), unsatisfactoriness (dukkha), and non-self (anattā). When these are no longer conceptual but directly seen, the mind can no longer rely on its habitual strategies of grasping and control. This shift initiates a descent into the dukkha ñāṇas—a wisdom process that can be challenging, yet is profoundly liberating.

To make these stages more accessible, I teach them using a simple shorthand: The Four R’s.

The Four R’s: A Shorthand for the Dark Night Stages

To make the understanding of these stages more accessible, I teach them using a simple shorthand I call The Four R’s:

1. Recoiling → 2. Resistance → 3. Resignation → 4. Renewal

This framework mirrors the classical insight stages while giving practitioners language that matches their felt experience—in both meditation and daily life. The Four R’s describe the descent phase of insight: what happens as the mind confronts reality more honestly than ever before.

1. Recoiling (Insight Into Fear)

As impermanence is seen everywhere, the mind instinctively pulls back. There can be fear, unease, or a sense of groundlessness. The function of this stage is to confront the mind with the truth that there is nothing stable to grasp.

2. Resistance (Insight Into Misery)

The recoiling softens, but the mind now resists what it sees. Sadness, grief, or a sense of oppression may arise. The function of this stage is to weaken the reflexive habit of grasping and clinging.

3. Resignation (Insight Into Dispassion)

The fight drops away. Things lose their appeal. Even practice can feel flat or meaningless. The function of this stage is to fully exhaust the habitual holding on—to anything at all.

4. Renewal (Insight Into A Wish for Liberation)

Out of exhaustion and clarity, a new orientation emerges. Not driven by ego or ambition, but by a quiet, deep longing for freedom. The function of this stage is to prepare the mind for equanimity and genuine liberation.

Each stage has a precise function. Fear exposes grasping. Misery weakens resistance. Dispassion exhausts attachment. Renewal gathers the mind toward freedom—not through force, but through clarity.

Walking the Path

The Dark Night is not a detour; it is the path working as it should. The instruction is simple, though not easy: continue practicing mindfulness gently and precisely. What brings you into these stages is what carries you through them.

If you are navigating the Dark Night and would like orientation or support, I invite you to book an exploration session with me. Together, we can clarify where you are on the path and how to move forward with wisdom, confidence, and care. Click below!

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What does it mean to meet conflict—not with reactivity or avoidance—but with presence, clarity, and a willingness to go deeper? In a recent episode of the RAW podcast, my colleague Dr. Gary Reiss and I sat down with host Anouk Louri to explore these questions and share our experiences in trauma healing, martial arts, and group facilitation.

Gary shared his insights from his work in Israel and the Palestinian territories, including collaborations with trauma experts on both sides. Drawing from Process-Oriented Psychology, he explores how we can access the wisdom hidden within personal and collective tension—even, and especially, in heartbreaking times.

I shared the perspective of Aikido, a martial art rooted in harmony and non-resistance, and how its philosophy can help us engage conflict with grounded strength rather than force. Recorded during Gary’s recent visit to Tel Aviv, where we co-facilitated “healing the healers” events, this conversation invites you to reflect on what it means to respond—not react—amid profoundly uncertain times.

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What does it mean to heal our wounds? What does it mean to resolve conflict with others? How are these questions related, and if that was a process, what would it look and feel like? These are the questions I recently explored with therapist and fellow Aikido practitioner Dr. Gary Reiss.

Some of the topics we explore are:

• What is the nature of conflict?
• Aikido’s role in self-regulation and co-regulation.
• How unresolved trauma leads to retraumatization and the perpetuation of conflict.
• How traumatizing others requires numbness, and the process of healing requires awareness.
• What is the nature of “trauma-informed process work.

To hear more, check out the video above.

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“Progress Of Insight – The Inner Path Of Meditation”
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“Progress Of Insight – The Inner Path Of Meditation”
Workshop, March 23rd, 2025

Click below for details!

Join meditation teacher Miles Kessler for this online workshop, Feb. 25th, 2024.

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A Buddha Bro blocked me on “X” over the Israel/Palestine conflict. I had assumed we’d be able to dialogue across the polarization. We’re both Buddhist meditation teachers sharing a common lineage, friends, and mentors. We’ve both built online platforms dedicated to raising consciousness and culture. I’m half Jewish and he’s a quarter Palestinian. And we both grew up in the American South learning how to code-switch in a cultural milieu potholed with antisemitism and islamophobia.

There is a Buddhist meditation teacher who has been on my radar for some years because of his good and early work in the podcasting space. We had never met but I had tracked him a bit because we’re both in the meditation “biz”.

When I noticed his posts on X advocating for the Palestinian cause, it became clear that we shared one more piece in our similar perspectival stacks—a familial connection to the generational conflict between Israel and Palestine, albeit on opposite sides.

So when I saw this teacher’s posts on X addressing this perpetual conflict, I respectfully pushed back from my perspective. Shortly after, I was pleasantly surprised when he reached out in a DM to connect across the polarized divide.

The “Wicked Problem” Dialogue

Our initial meeting went well and we could relate to each other’s lived experiences. I offered him to join me on a live panel discussion I hosted called “Wicked Problem Conversations – Israel/Palestine WTF?”, moderated by a mutual friend and professional mediator, Diane Musho Hamilton Roshi.

We were joined by other panelists who were skilled at inhabiting multiple perspectives and could speak from personal experience on both sides of the issue. We did not agree on everything, but managed to keep the dialogue on the rails, and by the end, I felt more connected to everyone than I did before from the outset.

If nothing else, it was a small win for dialogue. Until it wasn’t.

Blocked On “X”

As the months passed and the horror of war continued to unfold, the increasingly hyper-charged polarization of this conflict played out worldwide. In this context, I’d regularly see my colleague’s posts on X advocating for the Palestinian cause, and from time to time I’d respectfully jump into the comments where I felt he was not holding Hamas to account for their responsibility in this ongoing war.

At the height of the “tentifada” protests at American university campuses, senior American Buddhist teachers Joan Halifax Roshi and Jon Kabot-Zinn posted on X their support for the student-occupied encampments (they said it reminded them of the ’60s).

I respectfully commented on their posts saying while taking an anti-war stand based on Buddhist principles of non-violence is admirable, doing so without condemning pro-war Hamas and calling for the return of the hostages is a performative contradiction.

My new friend must have seen these because shortly afterward he sent me a DM saying he was blocking me on X. He said he refused to associate with me because of what amounted to my one-sidedly defending Israel and enabling genocide on innocent people in Gaza.

Death Of Dialogue As A Fait Accompli

So, the rules had changed at some point and I didn’t get the memo. The message I was getting was that any discussion on Israel/Palestine is a non-starter unless I concede to this teacher’s claims that the Palestinians are the historical victims and my government is committing genocide on his ancestral people.

That was the pound of flesh I needed to offer up. I needed to subscribe to the narrative of the “river to the sea” crowd as the only factual discourse, or it was the end of the discussion. And of course, you can never question or criticize any actors in the free Palestine movement… including the extremist positions of Hamas.

I’m the first to admit that there is plenty to criticize regarding Israel’s policies towards the Palestinians (West Bank occupation, the settlements and settler violence, land grabs, extrajudicial arrests, etc.). But any discussion of these critical points of contention is moot because the “pound of flesh” purity test renders it all irrelevant.

It’s the death of dialogue as a fait accompli.

The Path Of Polarization

There are times when the collective trauma of the Israel/Palestine conflict is just too painful for any possible dialogue. This has certainly been my experience, especially in the traumatic aftermath of Oct. 7th. I imagine this is the case with my former colleague, but honestly, I don’t know.

However, my personal and professional convictions lie in refusing to accept polarization as the status quo. Rather, my practice obligates me to stay open to the incredibly painful friction of two opposing truths. This is the only way a true “non-zero-sum” solution to this conflict may emerge.

That being said, I am poignantly aware of how difficult it is to stay connected in conflict. Our collective human history is an ongoing tragic proof that polarization only perpetuates the suffering we inflict upon each other. This is certainly the case in the Israel/Palestine conflict.

However, if we accept this as the status quo then we must ask where this path of polarization will lead us… and is that acceptable?

Our Dialectical Challenge

As the trauma of this ongoing conflict drives us toward further polarization, we must see that accepting the death of dialogue leads to our greatest collective peril.

As Diane Musho Hamilton writes in her book on conflict resolution Everything Is Workable “There are 3 sides of every story: yours, mine, and the truth.” It is only by shifting our perspective from disconnected polarization to a connected dialectic that we have the best chance of finding the truth, and form there a just resolution.

The resiliency of our human spirit lies precisely in our capacity to rise above our baser instincts, and to heal our generational trauma… together. The path we find ourselves on going forward must include our capacity to connect, listen, dialogue, and heal with each other.

Anything less is going backward. Anything less is passing on this generational conflict to our children.

Like the American author and meditation teacher Sam Harris says “everything from the maintenance of civilization to the moral progress of our species depends on a series of successful conversations.”

Will refusing to accept polarization and the death of dialogue undo the Gordian knot that is the Israel/Palestine conflict? I don’t know. But knowing where the death of dialogue inevitably leads us, do we have any other choice?

May we all have successful conversations.

Miles Kessler is an American teacher of meditation and Aikido who lives in Tel Aviv, Israel. He is a dual lineage holder in Buddhist meditation and the Japanese martial art of Aikido. Miles is the founder of “Aikido Without Borders”, a non-profit organization using Aikido to foster cross-cultural understanding between Israelis and Palestinians. He has been teaching meditation, Aikido, and the embodiment of spiritual awakening worldwide for over 30 years.

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What exactly are “peak experiences” in mindfulness meditation? In the course of your meditation path, you will gain extraordinary experiences that typically arise after a lot of hard work in the practice. For some, these peak experiences are relatively mild, but for most, they are quite strong and can even be mind-blowing. But as extraordinary and developmentally important as these experiences are, there’s good news and there’s bad news when it comes to peak experiences in meditation.

In the practice of Vipassana, or mindfulness meditation, “peak experiences” arise specifically at the beginning of the intermediate stages of the meditation practice, and not before. It takes a certain amount of skill and a lot of patience to find your way into the peak experience territory.

Building The Critical Mass

To be fair, the majority of meditators have not yet entered peak experience territory. Their practice is still developing through the first 3 insight stages, which can be like a washing machine of challenging experiences that cycle around and around.

These early stages include experiences of physical stiffness, and regular aches and pains. Accompanying this will be rounds of challenging mental states. Because of the destabilizing effect the ups and downs have in the early stages, it takes some time to generate the critical mass for entering peak experience territory.

Developing the hard-earned skill to work through these challenges makes it all the more rewarding once the practice breaks through into the peak experience territory. This is the 4th stage of insight knowledge called “udayabbaya-nana”, the insight knowledge of the fast araising and passing away of experience (there are a total of 16 stages of insight knowledge).

First The Good News On Peak Experiences

The good news about peak experience territory is the unmistakable feeling of “This is it! Now I’m meditating!”. The mental distractions that previously dominated are now gone and everything about the practice is working. The mind is exquisitely stable, in the moment, and able to observe experiences coming and going in rapid succession.

You feel that finally, after a lot of effort and challenges now you are really “in the zone”. All of the previous physical and mental challenges are relatively non-existent. Not only are the challenges gone, but in their place are mental states that begin to show you the true power of meditative states.

Your mind is sharp and clear, your mindfulness is pervasive and quick, and you can grasp the most subtle of experiences. Concentration at this stage is one-pointed and stable, which brings with it a calm effortlessness.  Your body is suddenly relaxed, still, light, and comfortable as if floating on a cloud. You can sit for longer periods in total balance in body and mind.

In fact, the practice is going so well, that many meditators gain tremendous confidence and can’t imagine how things could get any better. In some cases, the meditator even feels that they’ve reached the ultimate state of awakening… which brings us to the bad news.

The Bad News: The 10 Imperfections Of Insight

As wonderful as peak experiences are, in one very simple way they can be problematic. If you are not careful and decerning, the peak experiences of the 4th stage of insight knowledge can lead to attachment.

The seminal Buddhist text on meditation is the Visuddhimagga, or “Path Of Purification”. This 1,500-year-old “meditation bible” outlines 10 peak experiences that can arise during this crucial stage of meditation. These experiences might be mistaken for genuine enlightenment if not properly understood and navigated. The first 9 of these 10 peak experiences are very positive and are considered wholesome mental states.

What makes them problematic is that they are all tented with the 10th imperfection, which is none other than attachment. Here is a simplified list of ten peak experiences considered “imperfections of insight” in the context of Vipassana meditation:

1. Illuminations: Experiencing unusual brightness or flashing lights, which can be mistaken for spiritual awakening.
2. Knowledge: Gaining profound insights or understanding suddenly, which might lead to a sense of pride or accomplishment.
3. Joy And Rapture: Feeling intense joy and uplifting rapture, which can become a distraction or attachment.
4. Tranquility: Experiencing deep peace or serenity, which might lead one to become complacent or attached to this state.
5. Happiness: Feeling profound happiness or contentment, which can also become an attachment.
6. Confidence: Developing a strong sense of confidence or faith in the practice, which might turn into arrogance or overconfidence.
7. Effort: Feeling a surge of energy or enthusiasm for the practice, which can lead to burnout if not balanced.
8. Mindfulness: Experiencing heightened mindfulness or awareness, which might be mistaken as the final goal.
9. Equanimity: Reaching a state of equanimity or impartiality towards all phenomena, which, if misunderstood, could lead to indifference.
10. Attachment: Becoming attached to peak experiences, being convinced that one has arrived at the destination, and mistaking these for ultimate liberation.

The Immature And Mature Phases Of Peak Experiences

It’s important to understand that these 10 “imperfections” or “corruptions of insight” (vipassanūpakkilesa), are part of the natural progression in deepening one’s meditation practice. They are to be expected as one moves into the 4th stage of insight knowledge. But for the progress of insight to continue, the attachment to peak experiences must be pruified.

The Immature Phase Of The 4th Stage Of Insight Knowledge: As peak experiences initially arise they can be quite strong and are extremely pleasant. Having these peak experiences can be very exciting and the attachment to them is too subtle to see early on. But because of the attachment to these peak experiences, one keeps returning to them over and over again. You can even be convinced this is the true path. Such attachment will effectively fixate your practice. This is the immature stage of the 4th insight knowledge. 

The Mature Phase Of The 4th Stage Of Insight Knowledge: To work through this phase, you must remember that no matter how extraordinary, these are just more experiences to let go of. You must keep in mind that the same practice that brought you into peak experiences will lead you through and beyond the peak experiences. Namely, the practice of mindfulness. Especially being mindful of the attachment to these experiences.

The Purification Of What Is Path And What Is Not Path

Once the attachment is worked through and purified, the peak experiences will become more subtle and refined. You will realize that the intensity of peak experiences in the immature stage was imbalanced. As the intensity subsides the way forward is far more sweet. Passing from the immature stage to the mature stage of the 4th insight knowledge, you will have overcome the last great pitfall on the path of practice.

Even though this is still in the intermediate stages of the path, the importance of passing through this crucial junction in the practice cannot be understated. By doing so you gain what is called “The Purification Of What Is Path And What Is Not Path”.

The Path Forward To Nibanna Is Now Clear

Having successfully navigated peak experiences, from this point forward, the path to Nibbana is clear. You have only to keep on practicing and the path is assured for you.

As my own teacher, Sayadaw U Pandita told me when I was going through peak experiences in my practice, “These experiences are not your final destination. Be continuously mindful so as not to become attached to them. As good as these experiences are, it only gets better!”

It’s crucial for practitioners deeply involved in personal development through Vipassana meditation, to have guidance from experienced teachers. This ensures that these experiences are correctly understood and integrated into one’s practice without becoming obstacles to genuine insight and awakening.

Incorporating discussions with experienced teachers and fellow practitioners around these peak experiences in your practice will provide invaluable guidance on your path. It will help you to navigate your meditation path of practice with a more informed and balanced approach and ultimately, it will support you on your journey toward personal awakening.

FROM PEAK EXPERIENCES TO DARK NIGHTS OF THE SOUL

An Online Workshop w/ Miles Kessler
Sunday, March 31st, 2024
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